Far away from home

Leaving Ipoh was depressing for me.
I had to say goodbye to the best things in my life.
My parents, my sister and pei hua and also my friends.
I never thought I was not ready for this. Never.
When I chose to study abroad, I didn't know that I would miss home that much.
Never thought of what to do when every was sleeping back in malaysia and the time here is only 6pm.
My phone ringed twice when i set foot here.
One from my father and one from pei hua. Both are sms.
Which is enough to break my heart in pieces. Aching so much.
I just feel like not going to bed from 12am because that's when people starts to wake up. I'm very lonely now. I need to talk to people.
This flight is the longest journey of my life. Longer than any journey i've had.
Ever since I hugged my parents goodbye at the airport, all I was trying to do is to hold my tears. Whatever i saw reminds me of family and home.
Couples around me, with family and kids.
Reminds me of how my parents used to take care of me when I was a kid and I want to be with them so much now.
Couples remind me of pei hua. The days we spent together. When we were there for each other. It's so hard to say goodbye. Instead we had to say see you again.
But that's 6 months away to see the real you. And I am already so shattered I need you now.
I was so devastated when the days draws closer to the day of my departure.
My friends were all there when I was back for holiday. Doing the things we used to do, things are fun and overwhelming. And I miss it so much already.
Moving on in life sucks. You never get to stay at the same places. Places you crave to be so much deep down inside.
However, no one chose this path for me. I chose it myself.
I need to walk this through and grow up. I must be strong.
I am very tired after not much sleep and travelling a lot.
I went to bed and tried not to think of anything. Not even a bit.