Dear March

so.. it's 7th of march. and I decided to stay on here to pursue my studies.

I know why I'm here even if I'm unhappy. I'm here to have a brighter future. First bitter, later sweet. This is something I must do in order to provide myself a better lifestyle or maybe even get married. Honestly I have already thought about it. Just brain storming. Haha..

I of course miss my friends and family, but then, like someone said, do the right thing. I guess this is the right thing to do. For the future, I have to endure these difficulties set for me.

Switzerland isn't that bad actually, the only thing bad here is my Uni's education system. maybe in another 2 years my thinking might change, but now, it sucks. i dont want to talk about it.

Anyway, March is here people !!! and it's the month where little eean becomes a man. well, to my parents i'm always their little boy, but now, after working, knowing the value of money, i know how hard my parents did to send me here, to send my sister to australia, and also at the same time owning a house and 2 cars. I don't have a luxury house with swimming pool or spacious garden, or luxury car of BMW or Merz. But i have a home. Which for me is enough. I know my father wanted more than that, but in order to send us oversea, he sacrificed. As a son of my dedicated father, I hope to buy him a car. His dream car. and i dont mind driving his old car at all. and my mother, perhaps a maid ? so that she dont have to be so tired doing house chores after work at night. and this made me stay here. 21 years old aint fun at all. but after taking for 20 years, i guess it's time to give back at least a bit ?

Well, celebrating my birthday this year will be different. Fortunately not alone, i have to work in the evening that day. but on the eve of my birthday, there is a fasnacht in bern !!!

its a celebration of the end of winter, its like halloween in america !! people wearing costumes parading the streets, food stalls from snacks, delicious food and omg pretty girls.. haha.. well, its another of those year i dont want any surprises or present because to me the only present is to have company of friends of family. Guess this year, i have food with me.. hehe.. and maybe take lots of picture with the people in costumes. can't wait to show everyone, i'm excited already. its happening from midnight till 6 in the morning. for the first time there is life at night in switzerland. haha. except clubbing of course, and you know i dont drink and stuff. To those people who remembered my birthday, i thank you but i guess the celebration i wanted was to be with you guys of course. anyway, the date is not on facebook and we'll see who remembers =)

15th of march is when my supervisors are coming back and i dont have to work OT everyday !! i'm freaking tired of all these and i hope to have more holidays so that i can go back to malaysia faster in june !!! just 1 more week and a little more.. i TAHAN !!!

and 20th of march.. HOHOHOHOHO.. i got off day and i can pack to go to italy again !!!

this time, milan and venice.. wohooooo... with gary hong, just 2 guys, bro style.. haha.. yeah march is so happening OMG !!!

and for this year, my birthday wish is GAYS DONT GIVE ME THAT LOOK !!!!

i cannot fucking concentrate and my hands are shaking when i'm collecting the plates and the plates are also vibrating.. stop staring at me or winked at me or whatever !!! i really beh tahan.. i'm not against gays and of course i agree that people can like whoever they want.. but not me please Please pLease plEase pleAse PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont know why gays have something for me.. and i have to have eye contacts with customer.. stupid.. next time i dont care liao.. mat yeh eye contact la.. mm ji ah..

yiyer.... my hair stand up jor.. deng...

after italy, its APRIL !!! and may and JUNE !!! omg.. i love march so much !!!

and i'm learning a few dishes also.. hehe.. maybe if you are lucky, you can try my cooking, then i be wait-chef ? haha.. serve mai you la.. sit dai dit.. if you are lucky.. hehe..

wait for me for i will be gladly to serve you.. night everyone !!!

hope march brings you joy as well.. ^^
with love, eean

why ?

why am i here if i am not happy ?

friend ?

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME.....

IF NOT I ALSO WONT CALL YOU....

THIS IS THE FIRST AND LAST TIME I WILL ASK FOR YOUR HELP...

BEG DOG BEG PIG ALSO WONT BEG YOU

YOU CHOSE TO GO FOR A DATE INSTEAD OF HELPING ME ?

EVEN THOU YOU KNOW I DONT HAVE KEY TO GO HOME ?

NOW WHAT ?

I´M FUCKING HOMELESS FOR 4 DAYS..

I DONT MIND LOSING A FRIEND BECAUSE I AM SO

FUCKING

DISSAPPOINTED AT YOU

Willkomen !!

Grüezi. Guten abend. Guten morgen. Guten tag. Wie viele personen bitte ? was trinken sie ? was nehmen sie ? Schön abend. Merci vermal. Guten mittanol. Adieur.
Ein moment bitte. Ja ja.

This is what i say everyday = =
Everyday go to work like give speech like that. Everyday also say same geh things. Lei dei mm sien ngor dou sien la.. But got one very funny thing !!
haha.. most of them dont know how to use chopstick and eat.. so noob nia.. haha.. see the way they eat, aiyor... give you fork and knife la.. see you eat my stomach also san fu lor.. hahahaha.. wa.. really ding mm shun ah !!! order food also need 1 minutes.. need to investigate the menu until like that meh.. yao want to eat starter wor.. eat starter yao eat slow slow.. gum si man meh ? =_____=
drink soup jau drink soup la.. spoon jor the soup yao dont drink wor.. just hold it there and talk.. drink jor yau continue talk.. wait you drink finish i also really..... mosquito also sleep.. haha.. eat main course zhong gor geng.. want to eat until the plate so clean, one drop or sauce also dont have.. wei.. your last life havent eat chinese food before ? or is it this is the way you all must eat? slow slow.. clean clean.. eat leong sam dam yao want to clean the mouth.. like that whole storage geh tissue also not enough use la.. haha..

ahem.. so.. say back some jeng ging geh things sin.. recently work leh.. jau quite ok geh.. but these few weeks leh.. haih.. always got quarrel between the service and the kitchen. of course i'm not involve la.. i so guai.. haha.. i just watch show jek.. anyway.. they quarrel in front customer some more.. i also no face.. this hair already so sui jor la.. still want me to fish wor.. really ding mmm shun.. haih.. learned to serve guest white wine, red wine, whiskies and stuff.. when i open the wine or champagne also got chance to smell har.. see nice or not.. haha.. some really not bad ger wor.. so when boss not here.. jau.... haha.. really nice geh.. a bit wont know ger la.. this one is my favourite !!

Litchi Cüpli

Leng mou ? i make myself geh.. muahahaha.. see i so pro.. hahaha.. still got alot of other drinks but where got so free one by one show you all la.. haha.. dak han sin ba.. actually dou hou dak han geh.. but.. let you all sum si si sin lor.. hoho.. wait for the next one ba..

1st of March i will decide to study in IMI or taylor's. so this one later only talk ba.. haih..

Valentine's day coming !!! this is our 3rd valentine. I remembered the first one was in school. then the 2nd one was belated because its chinese new year. and now.. so far away.. i still miss you.. >

dont envy me that i can go oversea.. actually i not happy here.. always also alone.. hmm..

settled down

finally settled down and begin to adapt to new life again..
after working 8 hours everyday, finally i have a half day tomorrow and a day off on sunday.. so here i am..
on my bed.. relaxing my aching leg.. tired from all the walking..
on my left, there is food and water.. on my right.. more food and chocolate.. haha.. and most importantly, the heater..
the best spot in the room.. just next to the heater.. clothes hang near there also dry.. love it..
would like to thank everybody that helped me get through the homesick period..
although nothing much you all can do but the best thing is to stay with me..
called pei hua few times, skype few times and i feel better now.. and sunday will finally skype with family..
some still MIA.. mm zhi evaporate go where already..

currently working as a waiter in Bern. which is very tiring but fun..
totally in a german speaking workplace.. which i again realise my german sucks where alot of things also cannot understand = =
working on it.. dont laugh sin..
here leh got 10 staff working in the restaurant.. 4 service and 6 kitchen..
surprisingly out of 10 6 can speak cantonese.. really OMG !!! and 8 can speak mandarin..left one poor indian guy, ravi.. and another woman from philippine..
here got 1 hong kong, 3 vietnamese, 3 malaysian including me, 1 from hong kong, 1 india and the rest are from republic of china..

i'm living in a double room.. which is transformed into a single room by my boss 2 days ago.. haha.. so now i live in a single room with the size of a double room.. jeng lo.. but so big also no use.. i only like next to the heater.. my 2 housemate.. nothing to say about them.. they like to find ''KFC''..
say bring me there one day.. got brazilian, italian, swiss and alot more..
not pretty no need to pay.. haha.. give him zha dou.. but he seriously want to bring me there geh = =

my boss treat me quite good la.. can drink anything i like.. even beer.. haha.. but only after 9.30pm.. 1 day got 2 meals.. sometimes got supper tim..
but the supper is kawan kawan from kitchen curi curi make one.. haha..
but now i start to get sick of chinese food already.. haha..
3 days straight eat fish and vege.. OMFG.. 3 DAYS BEFORE FISH is vege day..
1 dish cucumber and another dish ? cucumber also =______=
so healthy.. i also stun jor.. dont know to react when i see the dish.. luckily that night got supper..

and everyone's name also very hard to pronounce.. so all also got nickname.. they all also call me xiao di.. got xiao ge.. ah seong, kim, bla bla bla..
all the stuff actually very fun to be with them.. they make the work not so stress and happier when we work together..
but then the best part of the service is you get to see leng lui also.. haha.. when they come in then you have to greet them, then usually i bring menu to all tables geh.. new ma.. serve drinks ah, clear tables, set up table like that la.. so also got quite a lot of times so see see here, see see there geh..
haha.. but very fish lo when customer ask you question..
imagine indian talking to you.. no idea apa dia cakap.. so everytime also wait ah.. one moment please.. fish dou sei.. haha..

so far update till here ba.. hungry liao =_____________= sleep sin..

First day in Switzerland

Every mile away from Malaysia on the plane made me sick. It's like not going to reach forever. I had to hold my tears even in the plane.
Setting foot on Switzerland does not amaze me anymore, not this time.
When I'm travelling alone with no friends and no one to talk to.
Everyone speaks a language I don't understand. Which is very frustrating.
I am in an alien's world. I was in the train looking at the passengers in front of me. A mother and a child. The mother was teaching the child to read.
But I couldn't understand them. Not even to a child's standard.
Besides feeling homesick, I was also tired to have to carry the luggage here and there. Traveling from one place to another and finally arrive at the restaurant where i work. I greeted the staff and the next thing I did was to look for a socket. I had to charge my phone. I want to call home, call pei hua.
To let them know that I am safe here.
While waiting anxiously for my phone to recharge, i was offered a meal from the staff there. The staff are quite ok. Some are friendly and some are so so.
I was the quite one. The environment of the restaurant is fine.
I waited around 2 hours there and then a senior of mine, David, who is also from IMI and also from Malaysia, brought me back here to my accommodation.
My room was actually a double room. and David was my roommate. I feel comfortable talking to him. He is friendly and tells me everything about the life, the politics of the restaurant, who to listen and who to ignore at times.
Yesterday was David's last working day, and he is leaving on the 10th.
Which I felt is quite lucky for me to have someone to care for me and teach me things.
He told me that the german i learnt in school was different from the one they speak here, that explains why i couldnt understand them at all.
And the worst is that NO ONE speaks english here. NONE AT ALL.
Whenever you need to buy something or ask something, you need someone to write for you and show it to the people at the store.
David also told me that Boys will never be roommates. Because they will fight.
Usually a girl and a boy will be in a double room. I hope he is KIDDING !!!
THIS IS JUST HILARIOUS. If a girl were to move in I had to be in the same room with her ?!!
Hopefully there is none. I rather get stuck with a boy because even if we fight, i don't think i'll lose too badly ?
My nightmare has already begun. 6 months from now.
I need to get used to the life here.
I will get through this.
I will.
Support me people !!

Far away from home

Leaving Ipoh was depressing for me.
I had to say goodbye to the best things in my life.
My parents, my sister and pei hua and also my friends.
I never thought I was not ready for this. Never.
When I chose to study abroad, I didn't know that I would miss home that much.
Never thought of what to do when every was sleeping back in malaysia and the time here is only 6pm.
My phone ringed twice when i set foot here.
One from my father and one from pei hua. Both are sms.
Which is enough to break my heart in pieces. Aching so much.
I just feel like not going to bed from 12am because that's when people starts to wake up. I'm very lonely now. I need to talk to people.
This flight is the longest journey of my life. Longer than any journey i've had.
Ever since I hugged my parents goodbye at the airport, all I was trying to do is to hold my tears. Whatever i saw reminds me of family and home.
Couples around me, with family and kids.
Reminds me of how my parents used to take care of me when I was a kid and I want to be with them so much now.
Couples remind me of pei hua. The days we spent together. When we were there for each other. It's so hard to say goodbye. Instead we had to say see you again.
But that's 6 months away to see the real you. And I am already so shattered I need you now.
I was so devastated when the days draws closer to the day of my departure.
My friends were all there when I was back for holiday. Doing the things we used to do, things are fun and overwhelming. And I miss it so much already.
Moving on in life sucks. You never get to stay at the same places. Places you crave to be so much deep down inside.
However, no one chose this path for me. I chose it myself.
I need to walk this through and grow up. I must be strong.
I am very tired after not much sleep and travelling a lot.
I went to bed and tried not to think of anything. Not even a bit.